Category: General

So Much Feels Arbitrary

It is the first line of a Marge Piercy poem that I think of often, on many days and for many years now since I first read it more than ten years ago when my son was first born.

“So much feels arbitrary.”

Poem “The Mystery of Survival” in “The Crooked Inheritance” (2006) page 131-133

And yet, I also have it’s equal and opposite thought a great deal of the time.  Generally, a sense that I have on occasion that even the smallest act of kindness means just about everything.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed as a parent that each decision from the smallest “Which toothpaste to buy?” to the larger “Which school should I send my child to?” seems like it could radically shift the tragectory of my child’s life.  In these cases, Marge Piercy’s poem both soothes my sense that every little thing is the most important thing and also terrifies me.

IMG_7017Part of what I love about my Pilgrimage Pittsburgh project is that I meet people while I’m walking around.  It’s much easier to feel connected when we interact with the people in our neighborhoods and communities.  There are so many people that live less than a block from my home who I don’t know at all.  When I was in the yard that these pictures are from, a woman walked by and said to me, “Oh, the yard looks so beautiful.  She just put a lot of work into it and I stopped by to tell her how great it looks.”  I said, “I don’t know the person who lives here, I’m just taking pictures of the statues in the yard.  They seems special.”  The woman who I was talking to said, “Well, you know her husband died about a year ago.”  No, you see, I didn’t know this woman who lives here or her grief or anything other than the fact that her front yard is filled with spirit.  While some people might consider the appearance of their yard to be “arbitrary” or simply a matter of personal preference, nothing could be further from the truth.  The person who created this yard is seeking solace through grief and also expressing a deep spiritual joy and profound faith.  I felt the faith as I stood in the yard with the mixture of iconography and balance of playful and meaningful that existed there.IMG_7018

IMG_7019Next door to this small garden is a larger one with just as diverse iconography.  In this yard, which has a prominent “Please Curb Your Dog” sign in the middle of the lawn, I found the most delightful “foo dog”, which is really a Chinese guardian lion.  When the mouth is open like this it means “in and out” of the breath,IMG_7020 like the symbol for “OM”.  The ball under his foot suggests that this is a male guardian lion.  The female version usually has a small pup with her rather than a ball.  And, in another part of the yard, the most flat and yet delightful turtles.  Turtles are considered a symbol of wisdom, endurance, wealth, and long life.

It turns out that as I pilgrimage around the neighborhoods of Pittsburgh that we have an incredibly diverse expression of iconography.  This is both true of a single site and across multiple connected sites.  In Diana Eck’s book, Darsan, which inspired this Pilgrimage Pittsburgh project, she illuminates how the iconography is an expression of the diversity in major religious traditions in India (Eck, page 24).  She quotes Mark Twain’s journals from his travels through India when he states, “In religion, all other countries are paupers.  India is the only millionaire.” (Eck, page 24)  Yet, the diversity of iconography in these Pittsburgh neighborhoods suggests to me that we have an incredible diversity of presence of spirit, belief and faith.  I sense so strongly that these leprechauns, turtles, protective lions and saints reflect on a commitment to higher powers, to playful energies and protection that is available to us through sources we can not see with the human eye.  Therefore, we put these statues, that we can see with our human eyes, in our yards and make our communities a reflection of these powerful beliefs.  This, in my opinion, is a commitment to a joined belief that we are, in fact, not arbitrary.  That we are conduits for great ideas, beauty and profound hope.  It is not an arbitrary act to set a leprechaun out on your front wall.

If this is your first Pilgrimage Pittsburgh post reading, I started this journey looking for “sacred images” in Pittsburgh and on my travels about three-years ago after reading a short book by Diana L. Eck called, “Darsan:Seeing the Divine Image in India”.  I am using the third edition from Columbia University Press (1998) for my references.  I keep a Facebook page for the project too and I hope that you will go there and “LIKE” the page because I post there when I have a new set of images and ideas up.  If you aren’t into Facebook, then every Sunday, if there is a new post on my blog, my newsletter subscribers get an email newsletter with links to the new content.  SUBSCRIBE HERE

Post by Sharon Fennimore, a rogue anthropologist, yogini and women’s health coach based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

 

I Am The Door

Here are two common scenarios for me:

Scenario One: A Friend or Client is Stuck

This happens to me a lot and I guess it is an “occupational hazard” of sorts, but people come to tell me their stories when they feel stuck.  Many of my clients and students have tried everything, gone to every doctor, had all the tests, done all the treatments and they still don’t have the results they desired or the well-being that they were hoping for. I have friends that tell me about their stuck feelings in jobs, work relationships, personal relationships and just how they feel in their lives at this moment.  In many cases, though not all, a path to freedom seems clear to me, the observer.  When I first started this work, I was so delighted when I saw such a clear path because I assumed that if I could communicate it, then my clients could folllow my vision and get free fast.  But, what I immediately realized is that the clear path has always been present for my friend or client and for some reason, they aren’t going to walk down it.  Each of us has to keep putting one foot in front of the other and find that next step on our own.  In many ways, this has been my greatest challenge as an integrative health coach—-learning to walk beside my client offering insight and clarity, but not getting so attached to the “results”.

Scenario Two: I Am Stuck

Oh yes, I get stuck in the ditch of life myself quite often.  And, when I am down there in the darkness of the ditch, all I want is for someone to yank me out and say, “Girl, THIS is what you have to do right now.”  I want someone to provide me with direction, the next step, the right thing to do to get out of the ditch and back on level ground.  Except, just as in the case with my clients and friends, I also know that I would be unlikely to just accept and follow that advice, even if some magical force did yank me out of the ditch and tell me what to do.  It’s likely that I’m down there in the ditch with a shiny and solid ladder right in front of my face.  Why am I not climbing the ladder?  I don’t know.  Why aren’t you climbing the ladder in front of you?  You don’t know.

I AM THE DOOR

We don’t climb the ladder for a lot of reasons, but it is likely because of a spiritual issue, a karmic matter or a soul condition.  I don’t like to talk like this because we all want scientifically proven and documented treatments, cures and methods.  I don’t like to talk like this because as much as I am confident that it is true, I don’t actually know what it means.  All I know is that if you are down in a ditch, that there is a ladder in front of you and you aren’t climbing it because divine order wants you to sit down there a little longer.  Who knows “why”?  Maybe Divine Order wants you to climb up that ladder at the precise moment that you would meet someone walking along who will change your life in a profound way?  Maybe you need to be a certain age or have a certain amount of experience before you can accept what is at the top of that ladder?  It’s absolutely maddening to be in relationship with someone who isn’t climbing their ladder.  You know the friend I’m talking about, the friend who does nothing, day in and day out, but complain about their awful job, but they haven’t even dusted off the old resume to even consider a new job search.  Or, whatever it is…….joyless lovers, sullen sisters, tempestuous rascals….ditch dwellers!  All of them!

IMG_6947That’s why I can’t shout enough about how much I love, adore, admire and am inspired by these church doors in Philadelphia!  The ones that say, as if these red doors weren’t flipping obvious enough even to the legally blind, I AM THE DOOR.  Just in case you were wondering how to get in there, the path to God, to figuring out your relationship with the Divine with a capital “D”, you FOOL with a capital “F”—-I AM THE DOOR.  Because, this is the nature of the human condition.  The human condition is that all that we need is right in IMG_6946front of us, but we need to walk through the door, we need to take action.

The key though is not to think that the fact that the door is obvious makes it “easy” to walk through it.  If we aren’t ready, we can walk in and out of the doors as much as we like, but we will still feel stuck.  They key is being open to inspiration, transformation and the energetic shift required to open to joy.  This is the radical reason why we don’t do anything that is good for us.  I tell people I’m a yoga teacher and they generally have one of three responses:

  1. Oh, I’m not flexible.  I can’t even touch my toes!  I can’t do yoga.
  2. Oh, yoga……I NEED yoga.  I should do yoga.  Really, I am supposed to do yoga.
  3. I love yoga.  I take yoga classes all the time.

Yoga IS a transformative practice.  For the record, you don’t need to be flexible and touching your toes is neither a measurement of general flexibility nor relevant to the practice of yoga.  But, the second response is interesting because it means to me that the person talking knows on some level that practicing yoga would be transformative for them, but they don’t do it.  They are choosing not to walk through the door.  The unlocked door just sits there, closed in the cobwebs of their conciousness, but they aren’t going to approach it and open the door.  They don’t want to know.  “Knowing” doesn’t solve any problems and it might just create additional ones.  Yes, doing yoga can cause a lot of problems.  Walking through the door, coming up on the ladder—it’s messy, ugly and potentially going to rock the quiet little rowboat of your life.

My favorite is when people tell me that they “can’t meditate” because as soon as they sit down their mind starts to race.  News flash!  You know what this means?  It means that your mind is CONSTANTLY racing and you are just letting the distractions of life keep you from this fact.  Your mind didn’t start racing when you sat down, it’s just that you finally took a moment to observe your mind.  That racing mind of yours is causing all kinds of problems for you under the surface.  And, I’d venture a guess that it is causing all kinds of problems for you in your relationships, at work, with your diet and with your satisfaction with life.  You are eating when you aren’t hungry, making agreements you don’t agree to, buying things you don’t really want or need, signing gym contracts when you’ll never see the inside of that locker room, going on that second date with that guy who had too many drinks on your first date but you are really hoping it isn’t a problem and yet you know that it IS a problem…………..Yes, I’m suggesting that you sit there all uncomfortable with your mind racing and your stomach in knots and your shoulders all tied up and tense around your ears and your breath shallow and unsatisfying in your chest.  Just sit there and suffer.  Because that suffering is your door.  You can’t medicate it, avoid it, distract yourself from it, circumambulate it—all you can do is be with it.  Go through it.  See it.  It’s just as obvious as the fact that the red door is the door, yet that church leadership knows that they need to make it plain and simple regardless of how obvious it is.

I AM THE DOOR.

Written by Sharon Fennimore, a rogue anthropologist based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  I love to travel, take walks and seek inspiration in my environment.  When I find something interesting, I share it on my blog and Facebook page: Pilgrimage Pittsburgh.

Extroverted-Introverts Guide to Large Social Events

This past weekend, I went to my 20th college reunion.  My college is my “happy place” and I also love the city that it is in, Philadelphia.  Also, so many of the people that I met in college are some of the most intelligent, creative and genuine people I’ve ever known.  I love to see them and it’s great to be reminded of the magic that is being unique.  Truth be told, I’m not much into socializing with large groups, crowded bars or lots of noise, but I signed up for all the reunion events anyway.  I feel confident that I can protect my energy and since I know the city very well, I also had a personal backup plan for fun things I would do if the reunion events weren’t feeling right to me.

That’s one of the great blessings of yoga in my life that I’ve learned to make choices based on my unique sensitivities that do not limit my participation.  I’ve always been sensitive and sometimes that makes me choose to stay home, to hide, to not say “yes”.  But, that’s not always the best choice for me.  Now that I understand that it is my sensitivity to the energy of others, to sounds, light and the environment in general, I know that I always need a back-up plan.  My back-up plan and early escape route help me feel that I can attend events that might be overwhelming with confidence.  If you feel sensitive in groups or shy, I highly recommend choosing to participate fully in life and just make sure that you have an escape plan that is very attractive to you.  If your “escape plan” isn’t good, then it is easy to feel like you “failed” at the social experience.  Also, you need a healthy escape plan.  If your escape is remaining in an uncomfortable situation and drinking too much alcohol or doing drugs to try to numb yourself to how you really feel, that isn’t nourishing and you will likely take even longer to recover from both the energetic toxicity and the toxins you ingested.  But, if your “escape plan” is something you know you will truly enjoy and can nourish any depleted energy from the time you were in the group, then it feels really wonderful to know that you can have it all.

In addition to having an ecscape plan, there are also things that you can do before attending the event that can help protect your energy in large groups.  First, I like to practice some deep belly breathing while visualizing a shiny silver light all around the perimeter of my body.  I see that I am whole and not easily invaded by the energies of others.  Beyond the silver light that coats the perimeter of my body, I visualize a cotton candy pink light about one foot beyond the silver light.  This is a soft pillow of sweetness that is a barrier to anything harsh or toxic.  It only takes a couple minutes to do this, but I find it is very helpful.

Having a touchstone in your pocket or purse or wearing jewelry with gemstones that protect energy can also be helpful.  I like to keep an emerald quartz in my pocket and then hold it in my hand or rub it with my fingers if I need to ground myself.  Emerald or rose quartz are suited to the hand chakras and are associated with the heart chakra and may be best for big family events, weddings, baby showers and the like.  Tigereye is my preferred touchstone for meetings, interviews or events where I need to remember my personal power.¹  If you aren’t into gemstones, keep something you like in your pocket to touch—maybe a pebble or shell you found on the beach, a colorful marble, or a trinket specially designed for such purposes.  There is a store near me that sells lucky pigs, pocket-size metal guardian angel coins and other items intended to be touchstones.  If you feel like you are susceptible to the energy of others, wear silver jewelry, especially bracelets.

JoyI’ve personally found myself very sensitive to synthetic scents lately, but I like to use my sense of smell to stay sacredgrounded and calm.  I use the essential oil blend “JOY” made by Young Living by placing a drop on my palm and rubbing into into my low back, a drop on each wrist and then placing a dab behind each earlobe.  Since JOY is made in limited quantities, each Young Living member is only permitted to purchase up to one bottle each month. I also recommend an essential oil blend called “SACRED MOUNTAIN” because it is soothing and grounding. This oil is also limited in sales quantities and only available to members. Due to their limited quantities, I do not personally sell these oils, but you can purchase it yourself at a 24% discount off retail pricing as a Young Living member.

24% Membership Discount

stress awayIf you are in the Pittsburgh area and it is convenient for you to pick-up oils in Squirrel Hill at Ola’s Herb Shop (on Forbes Avenue above Ten Thousand Villages), then I do sell two products that you can carry in your purse and use to center at any time: Stress Away Roll-On and Tranquil Roll On. If you want your essential oils shipped directly to you and at a 24% discount, then I highly recommend exploring the membership option above.

BUY Essential Oils

HiResIf you would like a personalized essential oil consultation, then I offer 45-minute consults where you can try out the oils and receive recommendations for the oils that are best for you and how to use them. The consultations are $60 and can be held at my office in Regent Square or at Ola’s Herb Shop in Squirrel Hill. With your purchase of an essential oil consultation, you will also receive FREE enrollment in my online meditation course “A Mindful Month” ($25 value). If you decide to sign-up for a Young Living membership with a premium starter kit after our session, I provide you with a $20 credit towards a future service or online course enrollment with me. You are under NO OBLIGATION to purchase any oils from me or become a Young Living member.

Essential Oil Consultation $60

¹Gemstone information is from “A Handbook of Chakra Healing: Spiritual Practice for Health, Harmony, and Inner Peace” by Kalashatra Govinda.  If you are looking for more techniques for protecting your energy, then try Cyndi Dale’s book, “Energetic Boundaries” for some very helpful ideas for healing and protecting.

Creation Meditation

I was doing some internet research on energetic wounds and back pain and happened across a recommendation for this “Creation Meditation” (this is a very feminine meditation, but it is made available to men as well) and you can also find an audio guided experience here (NOTE: the actual meditation doesn’t start until around 7-minutes into the recording).

Enjoy!

Written by Sharon Fennimore, a yogini teaching yoga, meditation and providing integrative health coaching services to women and families with young children based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Sign up for my newsletter and get FREE membership in my online community “Make Room” where you will get all the support you need to clear emotional and physical clutter.

Say What You Mean

There is a short essay by Brian Doyle in the March 2016 issue of The Sun literary magazine titled, “The Way We Do Not Say What We Mean When We Say What We Say” (page 23) that suggests that, “Perhaps languages invent themselves and then have to hunt for speakers.”  When I read this, it made me think of a poem by Hafiz:

Your Beautiful Parched, Holy Mouth

A poet is someone
Who can pour Light into a spoon,
Then raise it
To nourish
Your beautiful parched, holy mouth.

(Translated by Daniel Ladinsky and found on page 59 of “I Heard God Laughing” 2006)

Many of you who have studied with me know of my fascination with the Matrika, the vibration of truth that finds its home in the central energetic channel of the subtle body.  It is the vibration of that which is most true and each of us has a unique symphony, that the human ear can never hear, yet is playing within us since the moment of our conception.  This truth, one that we can never speak with our mouths, is vibrating in every cell of the body.  We know that we are in alignment with this vibration of truth when we experience well-being, peace and a calm sense of purpose.  When we are out of alignment with our Matrika, we feel anxious, worried and find ourselves in comparison with others and failing to recognise our gifts and contributions to the life force around us.  For, the magic of Matrika is that all living beings are vibrating with their own symphony. When we witness someone who is intimate with their Matrika, we have a sense of their peace and it is a beautiful thing to see and feel.

Lissa Rankin, in her profound book, The Fear Cure, says that, “According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 80 percent of visits to the doctor are believed to be stress-related.  Yet …what is ‘stress’ if not fear, anxiety, and worry dressed up in more socially acceptable clothing?” (pg. 11, 2015).  If  friend asks us how we are doing, claiming we are “busy” or “all stressed-out” are not only socially acceptable, they are badges of being “responsible”, “productive” and “active”.  What would happen if we told the truth?  What if we said, “Well, I had a really nice breakfast and my kids are healthy, but I can’t escape this terrible nagging fear that I’m not living my best life and I’m simply terrified of everything, all the time!”.  If you were in alignment with your personal sense of truth, you would not worry, would not rush, would not feel a sense of loss even when everything around you is “ok”.

So, we medicate our anxiety with diets.  Food diets that support our greatest health and help us obtain our “ideal weight”.  Organization diets that support us in our scheduling, sorting, managing our stuff and our time.  Relationship diets that help us know what it is ok to ask for from our partners and what makes us selfish or unlovable and instruct us in how to schedule social time, date nights and be a really wonderful parent at the same time.  Beauty routines, exercise routines, and self-control so that we get enough sleep and wear just enough make-up to look alive enough to be “presentable” and we walk around like we are about to fall apart, but the package sure looks nice. As Ben Franklin said, “Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.”.  For many of us, hours, days and weeks….years!…go by and we are just trying to “get by” or “fake it until we make it”.  I’m no exception.

I will say that my yoga and meditation practice, over the last twenty-years, has become a barometer of my alignment with my Matrika.  I can tell when I need to attune to my inner guidance and find a more open ear for divine guidance.  I watch for patterns, repetitions, chance meetings and shifts in my energy, weight, flexibility and experience.  I notice my sensitivities to touch, smell and temperature.  If I start to have any physical symptoms, then I pay attention without judgment.  I go to places where they sell herbs, teas and supplements and I see what makes me curious and asks me to pull it from the shelf.  Just yesterday I bought some kukicha (twig tea) that I haven’t had in years and having a cup this morning it felt like my feet were more firmly planted on the earth.  Why twig tea? Why now?  It doesn’t matter.  If it feels good, tastes good, smells good, then I say, “More please and thank you.”.  I start to eat by desire and I pick out the vegetables that seem bright and joyful, try out a new cookbook that happens to catch my eye at the library.  I try to spend more time with people who are inspiring and less time with those who drain my energy. Basically, I sense into what I need to move forward in alignment with my purpose and true path.

What language has put its words in your mouth?  What scent, taste or environment is calling out to you?  What people and foods nourish you?  Say yes to what brings you joy and you will find yourself in greater and greater attunement to your Matrika.  If you are so lost that you don’t know anymore where the words you say orignated and you can’t taste your food and you can’t feel your joy, then do not despair!  For me, the first step to tuning back inwards is through movement.  I choose yoga and walking.  I love to swim and to dance, but these aren’t always possible.  I can do yoga and walk pretty much anywhere.  When I move, my thoughts roam freely without my judgement or commentary for my interior narrator.  After I move, I usually have a lot more thoughts about what I like or want more of.  I don’t pressure myself to take action.  Sometimes I just let the idea sit out there as a reminder that I have choices, that I have preferences, that I am a person who knows how to access joy and creativity when the time is right.  I’ll tell you, I’ve got an idea in my mind these days that I’d like to go to Portland, Maine.  I’ve never been there, but it has been calling to me.  There’s an aromatherapy workshop I would like to go to this summer in New York.  It’s kind of expensive and it’s before my kids are out of school, so it’s not convenient or probable, but it is out there.  Even if I never go to Maine or take the workshop, having these ideas help remind me of who I am.

Many of my clients come to me because they have lost this ability to dream, to desire, to open to the languages that wish to come to them.  I have sought out mentoring, training and counseling for this very reason myself.  Sure, we could put a label on “it” and call it depression or “the sadness” (as I like to call mine sometimes), but it’s really when the weight of ourselves, our lives, our fears and the desires and wants and judgments of others and ourselves has gotten so heavy that it has blocked the light.  The sound of our own personal symphony is muffled or stamped out.  But it can’t be stamped out forever.  Our Matrika is, in fact, infinite.  Our Matrika is patient.  Our Matrika will wait for you to step outside and walk around the block, to daydream, to write some words on paper, to color something, to imagine, to get on the plane, to say the “no” that really means “YES” to something else that you really, really, really want.  It’s like that brilliant Jim Carrey movie (2008), “Yes Man” where he has to say “YES” to everything.

I hope you sip the light from your spoon soon my dear!

Written by Sharon Fennimore, a yogini teaching yoga, meditation and providing integrative health coaching services to women and families with young children based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Sign up for my newsletter and get FREE membership in my online community “Make Room” where you will get all the support you need to clear emotional and physical clutter.

Pounding On An Open Door

“How long will you keep pounding on an open door, begging someone to answer?”  ~Rabia

As soon as I read this quote, I knew it was a question I needed to deeply consider.  It was illuminating to read this because I immediately visualized myself pounding furiously on the open door of life hoping that someone would arrive to help me find my way through.  Yet, there is no need to pound on the door, to kick, scream, beg or demand because the door is already open.  You can walk through, just as you are, right now.

According to the Bhagavad Gita, “There has never been a time when you and I have not existed, nor will there be a time when we will cease to be.  Therefore, play the role you’re meant for right now.”  It’s so hard to accept this in the busy, fast paced life of self-improvement projects that we all live in right now.  My clients all present various anxieties and fears that they are, at the same time, doing too much and missing a certain joyful quality in their lives that they are certain “should” be there and not doing “enough”—to be good partners, good parents, good employees, good citizens of the world.  We are overwhelmed with the sense that something is amiss and that we don’t have a right to just walk through the door and experience the joy that is being alive.  So, we improve ourselves and pound and kick away at the door only to find that there is no bell because there is no one to receive us.

A month or so back, I was attending a Quaker meeting and someone rose and quoted Micah 6:8 from the bible: “He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?”.  Ever since then, the word “kindness” has been coming up for me absolutely everywhere.  Later that same Sunday, I was in the library and the first book I saw was this little, almost pamphlet sized book by Ajahn Brahm called “Kindfulness”.  I checked a book called “Love Kindness” by Barry H. Corey out of the library.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that cultivating kindness was part of my divine life journey.  Later in the same meeting, someone stood and told a story about how they were really pleased when the principal of their child’s new school asked that all students have respect for one another and their teachers during the orientation, but she thought that what they should really offer one another was kindness.  Kindness, she went on to say, is what is due to all humans, no matter what.  Respect, on the other hand, is earned.  I found this to be profound.  We do not have to earn kindness and we should not ask anyone else to earn kindness from us either.

How are all these things linked?  Well, honestly, I don’t know.  For me, reading is a part of my practice. When these types of ideas present themselves to me through my spiritual life, in my readings, and in my daily life, I try to pay attention.  Even on a surface level, I have to believe that expressing ourselves authentically, walking right through that open door and being gentle and kind to all the other people we meet is a path to great joy for ourselves and everyone that we meet.  How do we get the courage and grace to do this?  Practice.  It takes a lot of practice so that we have compassion for ourselves and others, so that we are aware and so we are mindful of our power to take actions that either improve or decrease the quality of life for everyone we come into contact with.  For today, no matter what your circumstances, offer at least five strangers your brightest and deepest smile.  Tell at least someone you know something that they do that you are truly grateful for or just tell someone that you notice them and all that they do.  Release your narrative in a relationship and just give your special someone a hug and tell them that you are so happy they are there—because, yes, they probably press your buttons and shrunk your favorite sweater and can’t help but burn toast every morning—but what is most important, is their beautiful presence, the light they shine in your life, your house, your family.  I am convinced that offering everything with “kindfulness” will not only profoundly improve my quality of life, but it is a step towards peace in my house, in my community and my world.

Written by Sharon Fennimore, a yogini teaching yoga, meditation and providing integrative health coaching services to women and families with young children based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Join my online community Make Room!

Everything Changes

[I said to Suzuki Roshi,] “I could listen to you for a thousand years and still not get it.  Could you just please put it in a nutshell?  Can you reduce Buddhism to one phrase?”…He was not a man you could pin down, and he didn’t like to give his students something definite to cling to. He had often said not to have “some idea” of what Buddhism was.  But Suzuki did answer.  He looked at me and said, “Everything changes.”

~David Chadwick

For the past 24-hours, here in Pittsburgh we have been bathed in the light of the sun through clear blue skies. I feel the sun in the fluids of my body and, all of a sudden, my dreams seem possible.  When you live in a place that offers shades of gray (and not in the exciting way) for most days of the year, the light of the sun brings profound shifts in conciousness.  This shift is welcomed because it is warm, light and inspiring.  As much as this change in season from cold and dark to warm and light is welcomed, the truth is that at the end of last summer I welcomed the cooler air.  The abundance of heat had become stifling and I desired a shift towards cooler breezes and an internal retreat.  Therefore, it is neither cool or warm that is desired in and of itself, but rather the energetic shifts that come with those changes.

It is curious to me that I can see how these shifts in temperature and light and energies related to the seasons are important to my well-being, creativity and mind-body, but I hold on so tightly to so many things.  I worry about losing things.  I am terrified to lose people, either through death or natural shifts in relationships of all kinds.  My dog is very old.  She is such a sweet and loving soul and sometimes I feel my heart breaking just a little, tiny bit, even while she is still alive and well because I know this can’t go on forever.  My clients are terrified by global warming, their mortality, their mental and physical health concerns.  I feel my own suffering and that of others so deeply.  All of these sufferings and fears are rooted in my inability to embody the wisdom presented by Suzuki Roshi, “everything changes”.  When things are “good”, I am already suffering because I know that they will change and I wish I could hold onto that “good”.  When things are “bad”, I forget that they won’t walways be that way and I identify with that darkness as if it will go on forever.

A few days ago, I was standing outside of a building and a woman appeared who was searching for a medical office, but it seemed like she was at the wrong address.  I had my phone with me and offered to use Google maps to search for the address and see where it was in relationship to where we were and as I searched, she told me a little bit about her story.  You see, she was going to have her second open heart surgery in the next week and she needed to see a dentist before the surgery.  Somehow, she used to have dental insurance, but her health plan was switched without her knowing it and she no longer had insurance.  She was rushing around and trying to get the pre-surgical care she needed and she was upset and scared.  On top of her concerns about her health and having to recover from having her “chest cut open again”, she didn’t know how she was going to pay for the dentist and now she couldn’t even find the dentist that had agreed to see her without insurance. This is not healing.  This woman needed to be cared for, nourished and soothed.  I wanted to sit with her in a calm and beautiful place and help her visualize a healing surgery followed by an uncomplicated recovery.  I wanted to sit with her around lush greenery and nature so that the color of the heart chakra, green, was surrounding her and she could breathe it in. I didn’t want her to worry about the dentist or how she would pay for it or the pain.  It’s so easy for us to become completely absorbed by our own story and our own suffering that we forget that everyone is also experiencing these cycles of suffering.  Everyone.  No matter how much money you have, resources, education, or fancy shoes that match your suits……..it simply doesn’t prevent change.

My students know that I have been working with a gatha (meditative poem) by Thich Nhat Hanh for the past year and I believe it is the perfect way to work with this energy of suffering around change or to release attachment to change that is perceived as beneficial.  This poem brings a sense of equanimity.

Breathing in, I calm my body.  Breathing out, I smile.  Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful moment. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

In his book of guided meditations, The Blooming of a Lotus (1993), Thich Nhat Hanh provides this same gatha with breathing instructions for each part of the poem:

  1. Breathing in, I calm my body.
    Breathing out, I smile.
  2. Breathing in, I dwell in the present moment.
    Breathing out, I know this is a wonderful moment.

In short:

Breathing in: CALM

Breathing out: SMILE

Breathing in: PRESENT MOMENT

Breathing out: WONDERFUL MOMENT

I hope you will find this simple poem and breathing practice as helpful as I do in bringing peace and equanimity into this moment regardless of our circumstances.  It is in this state of equanimity that we can also be compassionate to all other living beings as they navigate their changes.

Written by Sharon Fennimore, a yoga and meditation instructor and women’s health coach based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Please join my online community MAKE ROOM and learn how to meditate for clarity and peace. I’d so very much be delighted to have you join us!

Pure Brightness

Today, April 7, 2016 is the Festival of Pure Brightness (Qingming, or Tomb Sweeping Day) in China.  It is a three-day festival that is as much about honoring ancestors as it is a way for people to have time to go outside and enjoy the new greenery of spring.  There are spring outings and kite flying.  When I was a teacher in China, all of my elementary school students made their own kites and went out into the schoolyard to fly them.  Since I was in the far north of central China, there was nothing in bloom quite yet, but the worst of winter was over and the majestic willow trees graced the main street.  It is customary to hang willow branches on your door during the Festival of Pure Brightness.  This has roots in the traditions of Buddhism because Guanyin is pictured sometimes with a vase of water and willow branches in it and this is meant to scare away demons and ghosts.

As we move into seasons of light, it can be beneficial to take some time to reflect on all the people who have come before us who have circled through the seasons of life and, without whom, we would not be here.  We carry our ancestral qi (potential) as “jing” in the kidneys and I invite you to drink more water than usual for a few days to ritually cleanse and honor this energy that you carry within you from all generations past.  You may be interested in reading my blog posts about foods that nourish the spring body or spring meditation and yoga practices that support the energies of this season.  Or, if you are looking for a book that will force you to laugh out loud, then try this one.  

egretsA poem in translation by Du Fu titled “Overflowing” (SOURCE)

The moon’s reflected on the river a few feet away,
A lantern shines in the night near the third watch.
On the sand, egrets sleep, peacefully curled together,
Behind the boat I hear the splash of jumping fish.

Sometimes, we need to sweep away areas where we feel stuck or tight.  If you are burried under physical, emotional or spiritual clutter, then why not make a personal commitment to spring cleaning by joining my online community called MAKE ROOM?  For as little as $8 a month, you will have access to audio and video instructional downloads, a discussion board where you can get support for your de-clutter challenges and learn how to make room in your life for all that desire.  There are lots of artists, parents, dreamers, healers and collectors in our community and no judgment.  You don’t have to set any goals or feel embarassed about anything at all.  The online course starts with meditation instruction and tools for being mindful in everyday life.  If you don’t want to clear away clutter or you simply aren’t ready to let go of your can tab collection from middle school, we understand and we want you to keep it for as long as you wish.

 

A Spring Meditation to Balance the Liver

Spring

The water murmurs
In the old stone well,
And, a rippling mirror,
Gives back the clear blue sky.
The river roars,
Swollen with the late rains of spring.
On the cool, jade-green grass
The golden sunshine
Splashes.

Sometimes, at early dawn,
I climb
Even as far as Lien Shan Temple.
In the spring
I plow the thirsty field,
That it may drink new life.
I eat a little,
I work a little,
Each day my hair grows thinner,
And, it seems,
I lean ever a bit more heavily
On my old thornwood cane.

~Liu Tzu-Hui, Sung Dynasty, AD 960-1278
[This translation from Beinfield and Korngold, page 160]

liver meridianWith the coming of spring, here is a gentle yoga-based exercise to balance the liver energy in the body.

The energy of the liver (or, “Liver Meridian”) starts at the inside base of the big toe and runs up the inside of the leg, goes through the reproductive organs and flows under the front of the ribs into the liver where it circulates upwards through the lungs.  This energy line controls the eyes and the nervous system.

Part 1:
For those of you who are familiar with “Bridge Pose” then this exercise will make more sense.  If you are not familiar with “Bridge Pose” then check out this description here.

Start: Lie on your back, bend your knees and place the soles of your feet on the floor with your heels as close to your sitting bones as possible.  If you can, grab your ankles with your hands.  If you can’t reach your ankles or that is uncomfortable, then place your arms by your sides with your palms facing down.

Exercise: Inhale and lift up through your thighs and pelvis and exhale as you slowly lower down.  Relax for a few breaths and then come up again as you inhale and stretch up as high as you can through the thighs and belly.  Tighten your buttocks then contract a little bit more and really squeeze.  Then relax your body as you slowly lower down.

End: Release your ankles and then lie down on the floor.  Rest and relax completely with your legs stretched out in front of you and your entire back resting on the floor.

Part 2:

Start: While still lying on your back, reach your arms up so that your palms face one another and your fingers are reaching towards the sky.  Take a deep breath.

Exercise: Make fists with your hands and squeeze the muscles in your arms.  Slowly exhale as you bring your fists down towards your chest.

Do this four times—–inhale and reaching up through the arms and exhaling slowly lower your fists down towards your chest

End: Relax on your back with your arms by your sides.

Part 3:

Deep relaxation: Lie on your back with your arms by your sides and your palms facing up.  Set a timer so that you can completely let go for a minimum of 5-minutes.  Relax your body completely and just feel your breath fall into a natural pattern.

spring at templeSOURCES

Beinfield, Harriet and Efrem Korngold.  Between Heaven and Earth: A Guide to Chinese Medicine.

Gach, Michael Reed and Carolyn Marco.  The Acupressure Stress Management Book.  Acu-Yoga: Designed to Relieve Stress and Tension.

This post written by Sharon Fennimore, MA, E-RYT, RPYT, a yoga and meditation instructor based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and working with women all over the world on creativity, insight and joy.  Find out more about Sharon.  Join Sharon’s online community MAKE ROOM for just $8 a month and clear all your physical and emotional clutter.

Lavender Soothes Lions and Lambs

Lavender Essential Oil

lavenderWhether your March has come in like a lion or a lamb, I suggest some lavender to ease the transition to spring.  Lavender holds the energy of summer sun, but the blue color is cooling and creates a sense of equanimity.  Click on the image to the left for information on how to buy a bottle of essential oil with a 24% discount.

Lavender for Eating

Thanks to Elaine’s Lavender Page for the delicious lavender cookies recipe: 

lavender cookiesRECIPE FOR LAVENDER COOKIES.

Ingredients

2/3 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 tablespoon dried lavender flowers
1 1/2 cups self-rising flour

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 deg. Grease two baking sheets.
Cream the butter and the sugar together,
then stir in the beaten egg.
Mix in flowers and the flour.
Drop spoonfuls of the mixture onto the baking sheets.
Bake about 15-20 minutes, until the cookies are golden.
Makes about 30 cookies.

If you are looking for culinary quality dried lavender flowers, I recommend Mountain Rose Herbs.  I order online and have been really happy with this company and the quality of the products.

Lavender is an aromatic perennial evergreen shrub. Its woody stems bear lavender or purple flowers from late spring to early autumn, although there are varieties with lavender flowersblossoms of white or pink. Lavender is native to the Mediterranean, but now cultivated in cool-winter, dry-summer areas in Europe and the Western United States. The use of Lavender goes back thousands of years, with the first recorded uses by the Egyptians during the mummification process. Both the Greeks and the Romans had many uses for it, the most popular being for bathing, cooking, as an ingredient in perfume, healing wounds, and as an insect repellant. Lavender was used as an after-bath perfume by the Romans, who gave the herb its name from the Latin lavare, to wash. During the Great Plague of 1665, grave robbers would wash their hands in a concoction called Four Thieves Vinegar, which contained lavender, wormwood, rue, sage, mint, and rosemary, and vinegar; they rarely became infected. English folklore tells that a mixture of lavender, mugwort, chamomile, and rose petals will attract sprites, fairies, brownies, and elves. (SOURCE)

Lavender for a Soothing Spring Bath

Take a soothing spring bath with a few scoops of Epsom Salts (not actually salts, but the magnesium helps with muscle relaxation and headaches) or Sea Salt and put 6-8 lavender bathdrops of lavender essential oil into the bath.  Just sit back, breathe in the steam and the aroma and relax.  If you would like, use the very simple meditation suggested by Lama Surya Das:

Breathing In—-Just this, here now.

Breathing Out—Just this, here now.

Just make sure that you don’t relax TOO much and fall asleep in the bath and be aware that oils and salts can make the bathtub and tile floors a little bit slippery.  

lavender eye pillowLavender Crafts

How about these heart-shaped lavender sachets designed by Martha Stewart?

These little lavender soaps are so cute!

Make a lavender eye pillow.

This post written by Sharon Fennimore, MA, E-RYT, RPYT, a yoga and meditation instructor based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and working with women all over the world on creativity, insight and joy.  Find out more about Sharon.  Join Sharon’s online community MAKE ROOM for just $8 a month and clear all your physical and emotional clutter.