Tag: fear

Loose Chickens

August 3, 2019
Posted by Sharon

My eyes adjusted quickly to the hazy light of early morning in my bedroom as I woke with a start at 6:23 am to the sound of wood splitting and the insistent sound of annoyed chickens coming from our chicken coop.  A chicken in danger makes an unmistakable scream that is both a plea for help and a likely final expression of life.  Like a mortar shell or banjo, by the time you hear this kind of chicken scream, it’s usually too late.  This is not the kind of chicken sound I was hearing.  Imagine if a chicken could yodel.  That’s what I heard.  I threw on my glasses and went running down the stairs and out the door onto the deck.  Clapping my hands and yelling “whoop! WHooooop!” I saw the bear run back into the woods and away from the coop.  I didn’t hear any chickens screaming or even irritated yodeling, so I figured they had either survived the bear visit or were all dead.  Either way, I was going back to sleep.  Climbing back into bed, I had just softened into the remaining warmth of my sheets and pillow when I started to hear the chickens again.  The unmistakable sound of joyful chickens.  I kept my eyes closed hoping that I could still fall back asleep, but something made me wonder why those chickens were so blooming happy.  Hadn’t they had their own morning peace disturbed by a visiting bear?  Not only did the chickens sound happy, but they also sounded close.  Too close.  Giving up on sleep, I put my glasses on and turned to look out the window.  There, scattered through the yard and the woods were our 18 chickens frolicking free and pecking at insects.

You see, the bears, I’ve been told, aren’t as interested in the chickens as they are in the chicken feed.  The Ursus Americanus have no interest in killing the bird and dealing with all that chasing around,  blood,  and feathers.  Why work that hard when all you have to do is tear the coop door off the hinges and feast on the buffet of chicken feed?  To a bear, tearing a coop door open is like opening an envelope to us.  Having very little experience with chicken herding, before I put on my hiking boots, I grabbed some grapes from the refrigerator.  No, not for me.  The grapes were intended to entice the chickens to, on their own volition, enter back into the captivity of the chicken run.  For a moment, I considered that it might be a good idea to actually get dressed.  What if I had a run-in with the bear?  Do I want my children, the neighbor they find for help, or first responder to find me in my paisley elastic waisted pants, old Penn t-shirt, and bright coral pink sweatshirt?  Never a slave to fashion, I decided that I wasn’t about to start in this moment when our sweet and vulnerable chickens were out on the loose.  The chickens, apparently oblivious to the dangers of their liberation, may have wished for me to take the time to freshen up so they could free range a while longer.

So, there I was, in my pajamas, hiking boots,  and armed with an old bagel and a bag of mostly moldy grapes from the way back of the fridge, moseying down to the coop to survey the damage and herd our brood.  Having clapped and whoop-ed my way to the coop, it was determined that the bear was no longer on site.  She was likely sitting somewhere nearby, chewing on chicken feed, licking her fingers, and enjoying the show.  I inspected the coop to find that the side door had been torn off one of the hinges and the latch had been destroyed and tossed aside.  There were three ladies still in the coop and I let them out into the run, tossed them some grapes, and opened the door to the run.  I had hoped that these three chickens would make such loud clucks of pleasure over their morning candy treat that all the other girls would come running through the open door to share in the sugar.  Instead, two chickens ran under the coop for safety in fear of the grapes I had tossed and the third ran out the door into the woods herself.  Calling sweetly to the brood, I clucked with what I had hoped was an encouraging warmth and walked towards the wandering hens.  Unfortunately, all this did was cause the brood to split into smaller groups and disperse further away from the coop and into the woods towards the road.  That’s when I put down the grapes and picked up the stick.

All this without even a sip of coffee, never mind the full cup that I need to consume before my kids know it is safe to even approach me in the morning!  I’m not thinking about the bear anymore.  Instead, I’m carefully walking around the perimeter of the area where the chickens are pecking away at the beetles and small things that thought they were safe under damp brown leaves and the underside of dew covered twigs.  Once I got to what I assumed was the front of the caravan, I started to wave my herding stick and guided the chickens back to the door to the run.  My idea was that, with the door open, they would run towards the coop and see that they could get back in just by waddling right through the open door.  Instead, the chickens fled from me in terror and circled the chicken wire around the base of the coop and run pressing their frazzled wings into the wire and yelping for help.  I put down the stick and grabbed one of the ladies, gently stroking her throat and trying to communicate with her that my intentions were good.  I gently tossed her into the door and, turning around after picking up my herding stick, watched her waddle right back out the door.  Now what?  I opened the door even wider and tried the chase with the stick one more time.  Just because it didn’t work the first time didn’t mean it wouldn’t ever work.  Right?  Wrong.  Although, the second time around the brood ran in a group all around the coop.  They ran right past the open door doing a full lap before returning to their desperate attempts to squeeze through the chicken wire.

That’s when I started to work to retrieve the chickens one by one.  I closed the coop door so that it was open just enough for me to be able to elbow it enough to get a chicken through.  Then, as the chickens cornered themselves and pressed into the chicken wire, I would grab them, open the door enough with my elbow or foot to have room to toss the chicken into the now mostly closed door.  Then, I’d close the door again and throw in a couple grapes to keep the chickens that I managed to get in the run all there.  All these partial quotes from Rumi raced to my mind.  Wasn’t there something about how long are you going to bang on the door when it is already open?  Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? I was sure there was a lesson in all this, but I wasn’t quite sure what it was.  I wonder how much time I spend in my own life circling the sweet treats that are out, ready and waiting for me, when all I have to do is just walk down the open path to have them.  When I feel stuck, am I blind to the open doors available to me?  Am I pressing myself into the corners and making myself small in fear rather than walking proudly through the widest door to success possible? Without coffee, the lesson in all this was elusive.  Maybe it wasn’t Rumi, but Kabir?

We have two Plymouth Rock chickens that stick together and one is quite small compared to the others.  The larger one is Miss Jackson (if you’re NASTY) and her petite sidekick is named Glorious.  Miss Jackson and Glorious are always together.  Miss Jackson has confidence and Glorious is downright cheeky.  I was able to grab Miss Jackson first and Glorious decided to make her entrance into the run on her own two feet.  Miss Jackson was soothed when Glorious allowed her to select her grape first.  Perhaps this is what we also do for our friends that get somewhere the hard way?  We soothe them for all the fear and time they spent pressing up against the tight spaces until they found their way.  We say, “Hey, welcome to the run friend!  Here, you take the first delicious grape.  It’s all ok now.”.  We all need a Glorious.  Or, am I? Are YOU?  the other type of “friend”?  You know the one. The one that struggles and finally makes it to where you are and you say, as you pop the last grape into your mouth, “Too bad it took you so long to get here Miss Jackson!  You missed the grapes.”  If you happen to be the one who finds the open door first, I hope you are more like Glorious.  Share the sweetness.

After a few cups of coffee, I’ll have to figure out how to fix the door.  There are far more dangerous predators that might take advantage of the opening. Weasels, raccoons, fisher cats, fox………For now, I leave you to ponder all the open doors you aren’t noticing in your own life.  Are you running in circles?  Trapped in a corner?  Did a bear wake you and tear the gates of you prison up and now you are too scared to enjoy the freedom you now have? Stop running.  Look around.  See the delicious treats?   Be like the petite and fabulous Glorious and walk right through that open door and enjoy all the treasures just waiting for you.  Then, share.  And, if a bear comes along and destroys the walls you built around yourself, go ahead and wander with joy in the open woods.  Why not?

Sharon Fennimore
Vermont*
Sunday, August 3, 2019

*Yes, Vermont.  I moved  from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to rural Central Vermont, near Camel’s Hump Mountain, in the fall of 2018.  You could call me, but I don’t get very good cell service here in the mountains.  I continue to offer distance meditation and relaxation sessions.  And, I’m probably out herding chickens and chasing bears.  I’d love to hear from you and welcome you to send me an email that I can read after I fix the coop door.  

I Hope You Dance

May 24, 2012
Posted by Sharon
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Yoga Matrika now offers two very unique classes that are not traditional yoga or, at least, different from what you might expect from a yoga class.  In my discussions with some students in the community recently I have heard comments that reflect some fear of trying these different classes and the fear seems to be based entirely on the names of the classes.  These classes both have some dance terms in their names and it seems as though the idea of dance is terrifying for many adults.  It seems to me that it might be helpful to think about what yoga is and put these “dance” classes within the context of traditional yoga philosophy.

At first glance, or perhaps even after some deeper consideration, classes with names like “Yoga Dance” and “Yoga Booty Ballet” may not seem like real yoga classes.  Yoga is sitting around on the floor chanting Om or doing downward facing dog or back bends or sun salutations—-right?  So, what is the relationship between dance and movment that is not asana-based and yoga?  I invite you to consider the definition of yoga provided by Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras:

1.2

yogash chitta vritti nirodhah

 Yoga is the control (nirodhah, regulation, channeling, mastery, integration, coordination,
stilling, quieting, setting aside) of the modifications (gross and subtle thought patterns) of the mind field

yoga = of yoga, union; literally, to yoke, from the root yuj, which means to join; same as the absorption in samadhi

 chitta = of the consciousness of the mind-field

 vritti = operations, activities, fluctuations, modifications, changes, or various forms of the mind-field

 nirodhah = control, regulation, channeling, mastery, integration, coordination,understanding, stilling, quieting, setting aside of

 

 If yoga is the control of the modifications (movement) of the mind away from the constant distraction of the hamster wheel of your mind activity (you know, what happens when you sit down to meditate and you are immediately flooded with memories, your to do list, picking your toes, plans for the future—all at the same time!), then these classes that require focus on creative movement, sensation in the body and intention are most definitely yoga.  While we may have come to equate the practice of asana (physical postures) with the defnition of yoga, the truth is that many different things can, by Patanjali’s definition be yoga.

Dance is the loss of inhibition—-it is letting go, in this moment, of concerns about how you look and allowing your body to respond to the rhythm of the music and to the pleasures of the movement itself.  Dance is an invitation for breath to move not only in and out of the body, but through every cell of the body as you enliven your limbs and the extensions of your spine.  Dance is not some tortured experience of your memory of some fall social gathering in a church basement.  That memory is exactly the mind-stuff that holds you back from the liberation that you are likely to experience in a yoga-based movement or dance class.  This is not about uncomfortable shoes, clammy hands or a date with two left feet and a bad attitude.  This is not about you feeling uncoordinated—-this is about allowing yourself to explore pleasure through movement. 

All of the fears that you have about trying a new type of class or about dancing are sourced in the movements of the mind—–and these mental gymnastics are what keep you from living fully.  If you have these mental movements in response to the idea of taking a movement-based yoga class, I encourage you to see them as just that—-mental movements.  Do not allow them to control your decision—–try the Yoga Dance class you are so curious about!  Try the Yoga Booty Ballet class!  What is the worst thing that can happen?  What is likely to happen is that you will be nervous and for the first few minutes of class, you may question how you got yourself into this ridiculous situation.  While you learn the movements and try to find your ground in the first few minutes of class, you may feel clumsy or like you don’t know what you are doing.  Then, you will begin to focus on what is happening in the moment as you become immersed in the activity.  Slowly, slowly you will release your commitment to the movements of the mind and engage with the movement of your body, the sounds of the music, the feeling of breath and—–all of a sudden, you are doing it and it is yoga.  After class, you will feel centered, open and liberated—–not just because of the joyful nature of the class, but because you did not allow the movements of your mind to stop you from giving the class a try.  You tried it and you survived and nothing bad happened—–as a matter of fact, you think you’re going to come back next week!

I really hope you give our two movement-based yoga classes a try.  They are a wonderful and fun way to improve the health of your body, heart and mind.  These classes will also help you expand your definition of yoga as you strengthen and tone the body.  When can you take these wonderful classes this summer?

Monday Evenings
7:30-8:45 pm
Yoga Booty Ballet (YBB) with Aleta Howard

Tuesday Evenings
7:30-8:45 pm
Yoga Dance with Alexis Shaw

Written by Sharon Rudyk, owner of Yoga Matrika.   If she can do it, so can you! 

The McRib is Back

November 3, 2010
Posted by Sharon
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Nestled in between some of the most idiotic political advertisements I have ever seen was a clean and simple advertising campaign from the Mc family of restaurants announcing the “great news” that the McRib was back.  Seriously?  Did anyone miss the McRib?  Obviously, someone did.

For me, the idiotic campaigns of both politicians and this questionably edible treat are both a clear sign that it is time for everyone to do more yoga.  Doing yoga provides us with a clear connection to our deepest intelligence and relieves us of fear and anxiety about the future.  Over time, grounding ourselves in the present moment, with a deep connection to what is most true for ourselves and to our universal nature through breath and mindful movement prevents us from attachment to the forms of suffering that are implicated in these advertisements.

These advertisements indicate to me that these politicians and corporations are appealing to an un-centered population, one that is filled with desires, angers and fears that they can not even name.  Or, perhaps, even more dangerous, they have placed a false name on these deep emotions.  If you can point the finger at a “baby-killer” it releases you from being forced to see the “baby-killer” in yourself.  Of course, I do not mean this literally, but figuratively, placing blame of any kind on someone else or something else is a form of denial of the ways that each and every one of us suffer at the hands of our own desires, judgments and violence. 

Yoga does not have to mean putting on a pair of stretch pants and sitting on a plastic mat in some peaceful room.  It’s a great place to start, but maybe your starting point needs to be somewhere different.   Patanjali’s yoga sutras define yoga as the calming of the mental movements of the mind (1.2 yogas citta-vrtti-nirodhah).  No special clothing or props are mentioned.  What do you do that calms the mental movements of your mind?  Is it your work, spending time with your children, your volunteer work, through creativity, playing music, swimming/running/hiking, your prayer, your community work?  Whatever it is that brings you to a place that is in this moment is your yoga.  You probably already do a lot of yoga and just don’t know it!

Yoga brings you in touch with the present moment.  This moment is real.  Fear, blame, anxiety, desire and everything else implied by these advertising campaigns are all about some different moment—-either a moment from the past that you can’t get back or a moment in the future that is just conjecture.  The more you can be present in the reality of this very moment, the less you are at the mercy of campaigns that appeal to the worst, most suffering and fearful place in yourself.

If yoga isn’t for you, I still have some advice that may be of great import now that the McRib is back: Stay away from processed meat in the shape of bones.  In the words of Hans and Frans, listen to me now and hear me later, there just has to be something better to eat.  Really.

This entry was written by Sharon Rudyk, Owner and Director of Yoga Matrika in Squirrel Hill, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  www.yogamatrika.com

What is iRest?

June 1, 2010
Posted by Sharon
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This Sunday, Mickie Diamond is going to be facilitating a Yoga Nidra: iRest workshop, this Sunday, June 6th from 4:00 to 5:15 pm.  The cost of the workshop is $15.  REGISTER HERE

This workshop is for everyone and no experience with yoga or meditation is required.  Just wear comfortable clothing and keep an open mind—-it will be lots of fun and you will leave deeply relaxed with some skills that you can use in your real life off the mat.

Here is some information about iRest that I have taken from the Integrative Restoration Institute website:

Would you like to live with greater ease of being, feel more relaxed, and sleep more soundly? Would you like to develop “tools for life” that enable you to rise above stress, anxiety, fear, pain, and emotional and mental turmoil? iRest is a deeply relaxing transformative practice that leads to physical, psychological, and spiritual health, healing, and well-being.

A non-movement-based meditation, iRest invites you to discover an intrinsic sense of peace that is always present, regardless of your life circumstances. You will learn to release negative body sensations, emotions, beliefs, and stress that otherwise give rise to self-destructive behaviors.

People who practice iRest report: • Decreased insomnia, • Reduced depression, anxiety and fear, • Decreased chronic and acute pain, • Improved interpersonal relations, • Increased inner peace and well-being. Extensively researched, iRest is used with PTSD-diagnosed soldiers and veterans, students, children, and the homeless, and people experiencing chemical dependency issues, chronic pain, and insomnia.

Resolution Revolution

December 17, 2009
Posted by Sharon
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I’ve been frustrated lately and overwhelmed—-by my work, by my work relationships, by the fact that my husband has become obsessed with watching CSPAN and mostly by what I feel around me in the energetic field.  We are exhausted and want more from our leaders, our medical system, our businesses and banks.  We want people who have power to start using it in a way that is GOOD and GENEROUS and RIGHT. 

Then, this morning, I woke up and I realised that we must have a REVOLUTION.  We must have a great social movement in which EVERY PERSON decides to live each day according to their highest self.  We must STOP violence against ourselves and open to the potential of every moment because it is in our collective pledge to make every moment, every decision and every interaction one that matters that true REVOLUTION will happen.  We will, collectively, create a joyful and responsible energy–an energy where anyone who suggests that not protecting the earth, our heath and our ability to protect and nurture our children will simply feel out of alignment with what is real and right and responsible.  And when I say “OUR” I don’t mean American “OUR”—-I mean the “OUR” of humanity and of all living things.

Dr. Seuss tells us this in Horton Hears a Who—-EVERYONE in Whoville had to make a great noise in order to be saved.  In this revolution, instead of noise, we will make the silent vibration of positive energy.  Energy that creates a force of peace and light and love that can not be ignored.  In this lifetime, we can make a lasting vibration for peace that will have an infinite impact on the entire world.  We may feel small and powerless, but this is a trick of the mind that we can reveal with yoga and meditation. 

Yoga provides us with the support and inspiration we need to make this way of creating peace, energy and connecting to our own higher power.  Yoga is not a class, it is a choice—-a choice to move through the world in accordance with our inner guidance.  This practice can be done by anyone with a body, even if you can’t move your body or struggle with physical or mental challenges.  The practice is not a religion and will only serve to enhance your commitment to any religious or spiritual practices that you are already committed to.  This year, in 2010, consider joining the revolution.

 

Yoga Matrika invites YOU to a YOGA CHALLENGE. 

We welcome everyone to become a part of this yoga-based resolution revolution!  You don’t have to live in Pittsburgh and we hope that EVERYONE will take advantage of this project that invites you to make yoga and meditation a part of EVERY day of your life in a gentle and flexible way. 

Most New Years’ resolutions are about fixing what is broken, making changes, and trying to be better, greater, more than what you are right now.  But what if, this year, you became a part of a RESOUTION REVOLUTION to:

PROMOTE PEACE and NON-VIOLENCE starting with YOURSELF
PROMOTE RESPECT for HUMAN LIFE starting with YOURSELF
HAVE NO FEAR by acting according to your HIGHEST SELF and INNER GUIDANCE

If we all do this, then our Resolution Revolution will cause ripples of hope, joy, gratitude and beauty through the entire Universe.  Stop “not having enough time” and MAKE TIME.  Stop, “being so worried about the economy” and MAKE ENERGY.  Stop, “being so mad about the wars” and CREATE PEACE.  Stop acting on your fears and INSIST on ACTING from YOUR HIGHEST SELF. 

Let’s walk on our own two feet, feel the earth beneath us,
reach for the stars and make 2010 the year we really LIVE!

You might lose weight, get a better job, stop fighting with your partner or screaming at your kids, really start practicing the oboe and get your finances in order—- or you might not.  But, I guarantee that if you make an honest pledge to the Resolution Revolution, this will be one of the best years of your life. 

Every revolution needs a text, but this revolution has TWO!  Our 2010 texts are:

1.  Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul by Deepak Chopra.  2009
2.  The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness by Youngey Mingyur Rinpoche.  2007

You don’t have to buy these books, but we think you’ll want to so you can read them again and again and again!—You can borrow them from the library, create a Resolution Revolution group with friends and collectively own one set of the texts, etc.  If you do buy them and you have a local book shop, please order it through them or ask them to carry these titles.  If not, then the book titles are linked to information that will help you purchase them online.

HOW THE RESOLUTION REVOLUTION WORKS

STEP 1:  Print out a Revolution Pledge Form, read the pledge and think about your level of commitment to the pledge.  If you would like to commit, keep one signed copy in a safe place for yourself and send one to Yoga Matrika in Pittsburgh, PA.  In this way, you set a public intention to commit to the pledge. 

STEP 2: Make a payment or donation in order to receive your WELCOME KIT and to start receiving monthly e-newsletters with a review of the readings for that month and some yoga tips and hints.  The monthly newsletter will inspire you to stick with the pledge and provide great tips for your yoga practice.

STEP 3:  Keep your pledge.  Practice daily.

STEP 4: Provide feedback and ask for support.  Starting in September 2010, we will begin to publish an online journal for the pledge that incorporates the feedback, thoughts, ideas and reflections of participants.

 

WELCOME KIT

When you make a pledge to the Resolution Revolution, you will receive a reading schedule & monthly email newsletter with a discussion and review of the readings and yoga and meditation exercises that support that month’s topic.  You will also receive instructions on a meditation and yoga series that you will commit to doing 5-days EVERY week.  This meditation and yoga series takes 15-20 minutes and can be done by EVERYONE.  Even if you are not able to move your body or if you are confined to bed, you can DO THIS series with simple modifications that are included in the instructions.

 Although the greatest benefit will come from starting on January 1st, you can make the pledge at ANY TIME!  You will receive all of the previous e-mail newsletters and the yoga practice so you can “catch up”.

We will also be documenting the REVOLUTION and invite you to submit ideas, thoughts, reflections and personal stories to inspire more participation and to encourage anyone who has “taken a break” from their pledge.  You will receive information about this in your WELCOME KIT!

 

FEES 

The cost of the e-mail newsletters and year of yoga practice is $24–$2 per month to change your life and change the world.  If you do not have $24, but would like to make this pledge.  We honor your current financial situation and offer a DONATION option that allows  you to choose an amount that works with your budget.  Your purchase supports the costs associated with the administration of the revolution including, but not limited to: web fees, e-newsletter subscription costs and professional fees.