Tag: gratitude

Attitude of Gratitude? Not so much.

November 23, 2016
Posted by Sharon

While we all know that cultivating an attitude of gratitude is a part of living our most joyful life, how can we authentically do this when we are less than grateful?  Feeling ashamed or guilty about the “real” nature of our feelings, or pretending to be thankful for what we would have very much preferred to say “NO thank you” to in our lives gets in the way of happiness and creativity.  What if your heart is broken?  What if you are in terrible pain without relief in sight?  What if you have received terrifying news that has changed your life in an even more awful way?  Even with all the joyful self-help gurus and happy, shiny, advanced yogi specialists beaming at you from their glossy magazines promising peace and abundance for all your expressions of gratitude, and even as much as you wish to crawl into their tie-dyed yoga pants and bask in the bliss of all that they proclaim and stand for, the truth is that when your life is going to Hades in a hand basket…….well, no matter how thin you slice it, it’s still baloney.

But, if you are reading this, you DO have something to be grateful for.  This something does not, in any way, diminish however awful things are for you right now.  As the Buddha taught us, suffering is a part of the human existence.  We suffer because we desire things to be anything other than what they are right now.  We suffer because we are afraid, when things are wonderful, that we will lose that fabulous feeling.  Therefore, we know that our suffering can exist at the same time as our one thing that we always have to be grateful for.  What is this one thing that is ever-present?  Breath.  Yes, if you are reading this or even aware enough to listen to someone else who can read it to you, then you have this one thing that you can be grateful for in this moment.

You don’t have to pretend that all the suffering isn’t there.  Well, at least, don’t pretend on my account!  I don’t even own a single pair of tie-dyed yoga pants for you to covet or crawl into. (Although, if anyone reading this is inclined, I would absolutely LOVE a pair!)  I’m suggesting that there is a way to cultivate gratitude even when all hope is lost.  The beauty of observing the breath and being genuinely thankful that it is with you, of you, and through you, is that you create a little hope and space where there just didn’t seem like any could be found or made.  No, all your problems aren’t solved.  But, the subtle shift may be just the little miracle you need.  If not, you were taking those breaths anyway and so nothing gets lost through your effort.

I was recently reading a book about the subtle body by Tias Little.  I randomly opened it to a page with a breathing exercise that described the lungs as an upside down tree with the branches (lung tissue) towards the earth and the roots in the upper palate/roof of the mouth. I love this visualization because, in Chinese subtle body mapping, the color of the liver energy is green.  In Hatha yoga chakras, green is the color of the heart-chakra.  Therefore, when we breathe in, we can grow green leaves and fill the branches of our respiratory tree making it more and more lush with each in-breath.  As you exhale, you can feel those roots reach towards the crown of your head and pull up on the roof of your mouth.  There is actually a pleasure center of the brain that is located right above the upper palate of the mouth.  When you exhale, the palate lifts and stimulates this center.  Thinking about this tree helped me stay focused on the breath in a very powerful way.  When I am very upset, using a strong visual tool like this helps me stay present with the breath.  Otherwise, my mind tends to wander and feed my sadness, fear, or pain.  Sure, when times are calm and good we can be aware of the in-breath, breathing in, and aware of the out-breath, breathing out. But, in times of chaos and confusion, using visualization can mean the difference between a nourishing and a frustrating practice.

Please do not feel that accessing these few moments of peace require that you deny the reality of your sufferings.  Feel all your feelings, know what is true for you, and be authentic in your expression and communication!  All the while, know that you can also create a sanctuary of peace and beauty through the practice of breath awareness.  Although the in and out nature of the breath happens without your explicit effort, you can still find some gratitude in the presence of breath.  How lovely to feel and hear the breath coming in!  How amazing to be able to feel the release of the breath and all that is no longer needed!  It is happening right now.

Posted by Sharon Fennimore, a yogini, teacher, and writer based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Find out more here.

 

 

Frozen Food Month

March 25, 2011
Posted by Sharon
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Seriously, did you know that March was Frozen Food Month?  I didn’t know this until I received an e-mail from Giant Eagle supermarkets here in Pittsburgh indicating that there was just one week left to appreciate frozen foods.  From Lean Pockets to Ego waffles to Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream (my personal favorite of the frozen edibles), we had a whole month to appreciate frozen foods and I squandered it not realizing my loss.  But, it’s not too late, there’s still a whole week to take advantage of this special time to explore the delights of our freezers.

Did you know what else March is? Women’s History Month.  Yes, women share the glory of this month with frozen foods.  So far, President Obama has not yet made an official Women’s History Month 2011 Proclamation.  When he does, it will be posted here. Now, while we mere citizens have an entire week to honor frozen foods and the ladies we love at the same time by buying them some ice cream, the President only has one more week to come up with an official proclamation on the topic of Women’s History Month 2011.  Might I suggest that he enjoy the convenience of a frozen food while writing?  The thing is that I didn’t know that all of the Presidential Proclamations were available like this.  I have to admit, it’s a rather curious collection.  This month*, President Obama has offered Proclamations on topics ranging from from “Save Your Vision Week” to honoring the 100th Anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire to the 150th Anniversary of the Unification of Italy. It seems that when you are President of the United States, remembering your own wedding anniversary is the least of your problems.  So far, nothing yet on either frozen foods or the important contributions of women in the history of the United States.

What does any of this have to do with yoga or meditation?  It has everything to do with yoga!  Yoga and meditation are practices that encourage us to become aware in this moment.  By proclaiming a day, week or month a certain theme, we are suggesting that there are things we appreciate or that we should recognize that we may generally ignore.  This is what we do in our practice as well.  All day long we breathe, but when we practice, we watch the breath.  We see all the qualities of the breath—fast, slow, shallow, deep.  We experience the sensation of each in-breath as an in-breath and each out-breath as an out-breath and we feel our body’s response.  Setting aside some time each day for your yoga and meditation practice is like proclaiming that the next hour is “Sensation of Breath Hour.”  We come to appreciate what we generally take for granted.

Posted by Sharon Rudyk, an independent yoga and meditation instructor in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  You can find out information about classes and teacher training programs with Sharon at https://www.yogamatrika.com/ and prenatal/postnatal programs and support services at http://www.matrikaprenatal.com.

*Wondering what President Obama proclaimed about this special month in March 2010?  Check out the proclamation archives here.

Ode to Fathers

June 14, 2010
Posted by Sharon
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I was recently shopping at Target for garbage bags, Play Doh and “feminine protection products” (Exactly what are we being protected from? Who is being protected?  But I digress…..)   and on my way to the cash registers I saw a large display of Father’s Day cards.  How convenient!  I figured that I would easily be able to snatch up some lovely and thoughtful cards for all the Daddies in my life.  The first one I picked up was from the “humorous” section and it had a picture of an overweight man with an exposed belly and a dripping beer can in his hand.  The overt message of the card was that the recipient deserved a day to just sit on his butt and drink this beer due to his (On all other days but this one?) magnificent role as DAD.  The undertone of the card was that the recipient was lazy and had questionable hygiene and probably spent a lot of days on the couch with a beer in one hand and clothes that didn’t fit quite right.  So, actually, not that magnificent of a Dad at all.  The next 15-or so cards that I picked up didn’t get much better. One card even made a farting noise when you opened it!   The general idea is that American fathers are golf playing, beer guzzling, lazy, farting and/or fart joke telling, overweight, fishermen with somewhat questionable parenting skills, but who mean really well.  I was embarrassed for the state of fatherhood and my quick stop for cards turned into a rather lengthy exploration of what these cards reflected in terms of our expectations for fathers and the ways in which we feel it is appropriate to thank them.

Considering the fact that over 21 million American children are being raised in single parent homes and over 84% of these single-parent homes are being facilitated by mothers, it seems that having someone to buy a father’s day card for has become somewhat unique.  To summarize, 26% of American children do not have regular contact with their fathers.  From the cards on display, it would also appear that the fathers who do stick around, are fools. Perhaps, even worse than fools.  These are unkempt fools who like to golf.  Today, I received a promotional e-mail from Organic Bouquet that offered 15% off their selection of Father’s Day gift section.  The gift section included some very expensive items like an olive tree, bonsai and a wall hanging of a brown fish that said “GONE FISHING.”  The less expensive items were cookies in the shape of backyard barbecue foods.  The discount could not be applied to any of the beautiful flower arrangements that this company offered for sale.  No, the discount was on this ridiculous selection of man-gifts—-over-priced olive trees and hot dog shaped cookies.

Can you imagine?  “Here honey, give this olive tree to Daddy—yes, he’s on the couch where he always is—-and, include this card of the fat man that makes a farting noise when you open it.  He’s just going to be so happy!”

Honestly, if this is fatherhood, is it really a club you want to belong to?  Sounds to me like a job with low expectations and no benefits.  As a society, we need to re-imagine fatherhood so that it is a role that men can see themselves playing and that we aren’t embarrassed to ask them to play.  In my role, facilitating Dynamic Childbirth workshops—–yoga-based childbirth preparation workshops for pregnant women and their birth partners—I meet a lot of men who want to be great partners and great fathers.  As a matter of fact, I know that many of them ARE great fathers and are part of a movement to re-define fatherhood.  Do some of them fish?  Yes, they absolutely do!  Do some of them drink beer, watch tv, play golf and occasionally make poor fashion choices?  Yes, they absolutely do!  Is this what defines them?  No, absolutely not.

These fathers support their partners in pregnancy and childbirth.  These fathers cook all the meals so mom can breastfeed all day and all night.  These fathers wear their babies and sing them to sleep at night and know where the band-aids are and the pediatrician’s phone number.  These fathers wake up at 2:00am and rush feverish babies with croup to the emergency room.  These fathers teach their daughters how to go down the slide feet first and push their sons on the swing.  These are fathers who share themselves and their interests with their children by taking them camping, to their favorite farmer’s market and the record store.  These fathers play musical instruments, have a love of film, poetry, good books or an interest in horror movies—–whatever it is, they are interested in something and they show their children what is possible in the world from a different perspective from their partner.  These fathers show their children that compassion, responsibility and generosity are excellent qualities in a man.

So, I’d like to thank my father for giving me the gift of music, adventure and for always making sure that I had the tools of the trade—a Swiss Army Knife, comfortable shoes and a calling card.  And, after my son was born, thank you to my father for bringing food by every night so I didn’t have to worry about making meals.  Thank you to my step-father for learning how to defrost breast milk.  Thank you to my grandfather for loving my grandma so very much and making your children and family a priority.  Thank you for being the one who didn’t mind if I wore tops that didn’t match my bottoms, for not liking my boyfriend, for helping me move in and out of countless apartments and college dorms and for picking me up from that party in the middle of the night because my ride was drunk and never, never, ever saying anything about it.

Thank you to all the fathers out there who we would be embarrassed to give these silly cards to.  This Father’s Day, let’s forget the olive tree and the ridiculously-shaped cookies and make our own cards.  Let’s create an Ode to Fathers that reflects their true gifts and the sacrifices and commitments that they make to be great Dads.  May our collective Ode be a part of a revision of American fatherhood that is inspiring and meaningful.

References:
United States. Census Department. Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2007. By Timothy S. Grall. Census, 2009. 26 Feb. 2010 [http://www.census.gov/prod/2009pubs/p60-237.pdf].

Community

January 9, 2009
Posted by Sharon
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Recently, I spent some time reviewing the text of this website and found myself drawn to my description of Yoga Matrika as a community-based yoga studio.   What exactly do I mean by this and what do I wish to communicate about the studio when I describe it in this way? 

First, it’s a community-based studio because it has pedestrian access.  It is within walking distance for the greater Squirrel Hill community and anyone who takes busses through the main retail area on Murray and Forbes.  This fact means that many of the faces around the studio are faces that you’ve seen before—at Giant Eagle, at your synagogue and around your local playground.  You may not know the other students at Yoga Matrika, but you share community space and all of our actions around and outside of the studio impact one another—the way we garden, shovel our sidewalks, vote, participate in schools and community activism, etc. 

Second, it’s a community-based studio because it is an intimate space.  This is not a studio where you can remain anonymous for very long.  We learn each other’s names and share in joys and sorrows as they are laid bare in the security of the practice space.  In this way, regardless of where you live, you become a part of the studio community when you take a class.  We notice haircuts, circles under eyes as well as rejoice in births and battles won.  We practice our humanity and vulnerability while maintaining space for privacy and agency. 

Finally, this is a studio that serves students of all ages and abilities while taking into consideration the barriers that family life can impose on our ability to practice.  We strive to make classes accessible to parents with young children and to hire and support excellent instructors who have families and significant responsibilities for partners, parents and children.  We are a breastfeeding friendly and the parents that take advantage of the Me Too yoga, Family and Toddler yoga classes support each other beyond the walls of the studio.  This is not just a place for the young, flexible and beautiful (although you all look pretty good to me!)—-it is a place for real people, with real bodies in all stages of life.  This type of kula (community) dedicated to compassion for others and providing sweet company as we create, grow up and age is priceless.

Thank you to all the instructors and students who make this concept of community based yoga a reality at 1406 S. Negley every day.  I am grateful to you and for all the support and warmth that I receive, not just as the studio owner or your teacher, but as myself—together with you, working it out on my mat and taking it out into the world.