With Mother’s Day fast approaching (May 12, 2013), you may find yourself with the challenging task of figuring out what to get your mother this year. You’ve smeared mushed food on her clothes, shared bodily fluids, kept her up all night and out all day and basically accepted the sacrifice of this woman’s independence since the moment of your conception as if it was a given. And, really, now you have to figure out what to buy her that is at all meaningful in the face of this sacrifice? Talk about pressure! Well, in this short little blog, I will share five Mother’s Day secrets that are going to relieve the pressure and give you some fabulous ideas for how to really honor your mother.
Mother’s Day Secret Number One:
Your mother doesn’t need another______________________________ (fill in the blank with any store bought object).
Seriously, no more mugs, lipsticks, t-shirts, necklaces, movie tickets, bracelets, t-shirts, stamps, kitchen supplies, notebooks, shoelaces, soaps, lotions or perfumes. Just stop it with the “stuff” already! Unless you are under the age of 10 and happened to have hand-crafted something to wrap and give to your mom, then don’t even dream that there is anything you can pick up in a store that is going to be meaningful. It might be nice. Gifts are always nice. As a matter of fact, if anyone is paying attention, I would actually LOVE a new blender (hint, hint) pretty much any day of the year. But, as a Mother’s Day gift, a blender would seem kind of like getting a Snickers bar for winning an Olympic event——it’s not that you don’t want the Snickers bar, it’s just that the prize doesn’t match the incredible effort that went into training and winning the event.
GIFT HINT: If you really want to buy your mother something at a store this year, then you first need to figure out what she really wants. This requires that you pay attention to your mother for a while. Has she been saying that she’d really like to travel to China one day? Well, in the likely case that you can’t afford to send your mom on an all expense paid trip to China, why not get her just a little closer with an awesome guide book and a gift certificate to a local Chinese restaurant or a few Chinese language lessons? Listen to your mother and only buy a gift that inspires her to take time for herself and pursue something she’s interested in. It’s not about the object, how much you spend or what it is that you get. The real gift is that mom will know that you have actually been paying attention to her and see her as a human being with her own set of interests, hopes and dreams. If you don’t see your mom this way, then maybe try one of my other gift ideas below or start paying more attention to what your mom is actually saying.
Mother’s Day Secret Number Two:
Mother’s Day is good for YOUR health.
It turns out that spending time considering the needs of others is good for you. Giving your ego a break for even a few minutes is beneficial for your health. Imagine what a whole day of considering the needs of someone else can do for you? Avoid all commercial advice on Mother’s Day and listen to me now and hear me later, spending more money on your mother will not benefit your health or your mother. In order for your actions to be of health benefit to you and a truly beautiful gesture for your mother, you must find some way to make your mother’s needs more important than your own for at least a few hours. Sure, going on a tour of your mom’s ceramic gnome collection may not only bore you to tears, but may also cause you to question your mother’s stability. But, your mom seriously loves her collection and she loves you and you put those things together and it is better than a bag of Reese’s cups (which, by the way, I’d also like as a gift any day).
GIFT HINT: Make sure that your gift involves some level of personal sacrifice for you based on a sincere desire to fulfill your mom’s wishes and not your own. Perhaps this means listening to her tell the same story about the day you were born over the phone or looking at a collection or going to a place you aren’t all that interested in. Let’s just say that your mom is a hot power yoga enthusiast, but you are more of a “sit and be fit” kind of yogi—well, for mother’s day, you better get ready for an awesome hot yoga class! Whatever it is, keep it in the back of your mind that the sacrifice is not only a beautiful gift, it’s also good for your health.
Mother’s Day Secret Number Three
It’s important to say what needs to be said and to say it from the heart.
What you say matters and this is especially the case for what you say to your mother. Not text. Not e-mail. Say. With your mouth. And, if you can’t say it with your mouth (or the equivalent if you have a disability that makes talking challenging or impossible), then you better write it down (legibly!) with a pen on some really lovely paper. Just in case you don’t know what I’m suggesting you say to your mother (really?), here is what needs to be said:
a) I love you!
b) Thank you for________________________(be specific with your thanks).
Specific means that you choose one really special thing you are thankful for: all those delicious lunches you made me or for buying me those outrageously expensive sneakers or for piano lessons or for not telling anyone (ever!) about that incident with the vodka and the squirrel……
GIFT HINT:What is a nice gift to go with this heartfelt message? How about you find something meaningful related to what you are thanking your mom for? Did mom always go to your swim meets? Perhaps you get a little frame and give her a picture of you both together at a swim meet? Sure, she probably has that picture in her collection too—–but the fact that you are thanking her for the sacrifice and giving her a little reminder of those days? Priceless! Did your mom always make sure that the garden was beautiful each spring? Then maybe you should give her a bunch of tulips and tell her how much that meant to you? It’s not just the thought that counts, it’s the words that accompany the thought.
Are you married or in a committed relationship to a mom? Do you need to step-in with a gift where the wee ones are too young to honor the day without some assistance? Well, as an adult who lives with or near the mother, you know the real truth—-Mom could use some time. She could use a moment to herself. And I’m not talking about a moment to use the bathroom by herself with the door closed (but, hint hint, I’d like this kind of gift any day of the year). I mean a lot of moments. I mean a whole day of moments. Tell mom you’re buying her a yoga class and paying for her to have lunch alone after the class and that lunch will be followed by a spa treatment. Tell mom you are going to take the kids somewhere awesome and have a great day with them so she can take a bath and read a book or pretend to read a book before she collapses into a serious nap in her quiet, quiet house.
My Mother’s Day Offer: $100 for a 90-minute Yoga Spa Session
This is a deeply discounted 90-minute session that can either be conducted in person here in Pittsburgh or on the phone/SKYPE anywhere in the world that your mother has access to a phone for an hour and a half. What do you get for your mother for $100?
a) I will design a unique relaxation session for your mother based on her specific goals and needs (stress reduction? back pain? adult children driving her crazy (eh-hem…….)? insomnia? hot flashes? cancer recovery support? ). Whatever your mom wants to work on, I’m going to design something beautiful just for her!
b) Counsel your mom (or the woman you love who happens to be a mom) on an aromatherapy treatment, mantra and hand mudra that she can use anytime she needs to feel more peaceful and calm.
c) Facilitate the relaxation session either in person or over the phone/SKYPE to help your mom feel like melted butter—in a good way. Your mother will feel completely relaxed, rejuvenated and refreshed. She will be nourished, cared for and treated with respect, compassion and grace for the entire session.
Sure, you could buy your mother a white leather wrapped jewelry box at Pottery Barn for $354 (I kid you not!), but I think that an hour and a half of bliss magic with benefits that will last her a lifetime is a better gift. And, apparently, a more economical one as well (approximately $254 less than a leather wrapped jewelry box to be precise).
AFTER PURCHASE:
After you make your purchase, please send me an e-mail (sharon@yogamatrika.com) with:
1) Your name and contact information
2) The recipient’s name and how I should contact them about their gift. Alternatively, I can send a beautiful gift certificate to you to present or directly to the recipient.
3) Any information you want me to know that will make this gift really personalized and special for the recipient
If you don’t use e-mail (really? you don’t use e-mail?) or have trouble reaching me for any reason, then I warmly welcome your phone call to (412) 855-5692. I’d love to discuss how to design the perfect yoga-gift for your mom or the mother you adore.
EARLY BIRD BONUS: I will send the first five Mother’s Day Yoga Spa gift recipients a special handmade lavender sachet along with their gift certificate (value: $13). Buy now for this special bonus! Seriously, this woman wiped poop off of your butt or your kid’s butt daily for almost 36-months………a little lavender sachet to send with the certificate seems like the least you can do.
