11 April 2013
Pittsburgh, PA
Oh, I’ve been missing you. I miss talking with you about great books. I miss the wonderful handmade treats you used to bring me. I’ve been missing our arguments and late nights in bars without names. I miss your secrets. I miss being able to take advantage of the fact that you always know where to get the best sushi, dessert or coffee or Malaysian noodles in town. I miss sitting around that table and having one pint and then ordering another. I miss watching you wash the dishes. I miss riding on the back of your bike and going out dancing. I miss the days of eating hard boiled eggs and noodle soups made soft with questionable water and watching life whisk by from the bench of a train window. There aren’t many days that go by when I don’t think about how your freckles were like stars that one morning. Mostly, I miss you.
And, when I’m not missing you, I’m longing. Longing for what? Doesn’t really matter. If it was just a matter of knowing, then I could just take the steps to get what I wanted. Longing for a cup of tea. No brainer. Open kettle, add water, press ON, put tea bag in pot, wait for the kettle to ring and add boiled water to pot—voila! You can’t always get what you want, but usually, if you can, then it wasn’t really worth longing for. Longing is a deeper sensation that is not all that pleasant, but not all that unpleasant either. It is an ache that originates somewhere deep in the heart and is not a want or need or an emptiness to be filled simply by just getting what you want. Longing is a blessing.
On my 15th birthday, my mother gave me a copy of The Art of Longing by Cooper Edens and inscribed it as follows:
“To my darling Sharon (Andi) who longs for much and will attain much. Never be saddened by longing for love and experience. When we are filled with longing, we discover and create who we really are. Love on your 15th Birthday and always, Mom.”
TAKE a STEP
Please take a moment to sit in open awareness. Wherever you are, taking ten deep breaths counting your exhalations–inhale, and exhale (1), inhale, exhale (2), and so on. Let your shoulders release away from your ears. Feel your feet. Feel the crown of your head. Allow the blessing of longing to fill you with the strength and power of its message. What is your longing asking you to create? I’d be so honored if you would share some of the things you long to create in the comments below. Write it down and make it real!
This little note was crafted just for YOU by Sharon Fennimore Rudyk, an independent yoga and meditation instructor based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania offering unique classes and programs both in the Burgh, in a studio near you and 24/7 on the web thingy. Check me out: http://www.sharonrudykyoga.com
